Welcome to the Paul Vette podcast. I'm not going to talk about how it should be done, but especially about who you need to be. I challenge you to become the owner of your true identity. Time for your breakthrough and joy in your business. Those 3 coaches you had couldn't help you.
And do you know why? Because coaches often only work on 1 layer of identity. That's how I started myself too. I started on layer 2 of identity, emotions. But that comes quite simply in a way. How most coaches start is, I was a walking head.
So I was only in my head, I felt nothing. Until someone broke through all my walls at once and then I felt everything. And then I thought this, this is the gold. If everyone can feel that feeling and then work with that feeling, then you've got it. Because yes, for me at that moment the gold was there.
So that's what I did. I followed a training to become an intuitive coach and I mainly got to work with people's feelings. But what turned out when you learn to feel better, learn to understand your feelings better, yes then only 1 layer of identity changes. Layer 2, if layer 1, your core beliefs, haven't changed at all, then you can handle your feelings differently. But then there's still that deeper voice, that unconscious part of you in your system.
Yes, if that doesn't match, then it's going to conflict and then you even start using your old emotions again or using your old coping mechanisms on the emotions. And then you fall back, so to speak. I don't believe you can fall back. You do it again, but that's beside the point. You do it again because you know it.
That's how it is, right, because we live forward. Then I thought okay but if emotions aren't the right thing. I went looking for okay but I need to go deeper. And that was right because emotions is layer 2, layer deeper, layer 1 your core beliefs. Then I came into contact with hypnosis.
So I started applying hypnosis at the unconscious level, on your core beliefs. And your unconscious is 200,000 times more powerful than your conscious brain. So when you change something there, a lot really does change in your life. So I first worked with emotions. Also one more disclaimer, the coaches who only work with emotions or who organize workshops around emotions, that's also very nice.
It's very gentle. Feelings are allowed to be there. And there's a danger of drama. Because there are a lot of drama circles that maintain feelings. That you all just start talking about how bad it is and how hard you have it.
And again, feelings are allowed to be there, that's important. And always make sure you're in an environment that works forward, that makes that feeling important and ensures that you don't get stuck in it. That's really important. There are too many drama circles, that's really not good. But anyway, I started doing hypnosis, piece of unconscious and then there was already more body, a bit more weight.
But then I discovered yes that's nice, but when I work with the unconscious and bring the emotions in line with each other, then layer 3, the narrative layer. The things you tell yourself, that's not necessarily solved yet. It's very funny. I made that mistake myself too with clients. Especially in the beginning when I only worked with a selective layer.
So I once had a client of mine who I had helped and who suffered from fear of heights. And he called me when he was standing in the middle of the bridge and he says yes yes I just don't dare to walk to the edge. And I thought the unconscious has changed, I tested that. So it should be solved. I say okay but what happens when you want to walk to the edge?
He says yes, I haven't done it yet. I say okay, walk towards the edge and see what happens. He says yes, then a voice comes into my head and it says yes, I'm afraid of that. I say okay, but do you feel anything about it? Because from the unconscious we made sure he wouldn't experience the fear anymore.
Of course, when you're standing 100 meters high, then it's useful if there is some tension in your body because then you're put on alert. But there it comes. We hadn't addressed the voice in his head. Layer 3, the story you tell yourself. I hadn't told him at all.
Yes, it could be that that voice in your head, that it keeps haunting you because you're used to thinking something. I've recorded a video about that before. If you're used to thinking something, that doesn't mean that that problem still exists, that it's still present for you in the now. It could be that you're just used to thinking something. And this Tom, I always call him Tom, I don't remember his real name anymore.
I never use real names of course. Unless it's allowed. When he walked to the edge there was just a voice that said he should be afraid of that. But no feeling came, so he could just walk to that edge and he says yes, I'm standing here looking down now and that voice still says you should be afraid of this. But there was no fear in his whole body.
So then I noticed okay, besides the unconscious and the emotions, you also have to work with that voice in the head. So write down certain things to make sure you also learn to think differently. Well great. Tom was happy then, because he could also adjust that voice. But then I discovered yes, but there are 2 more layers to adjust as well.
Layer 4, literally the behavior you do. Because when Tom still doesn't show the behavior, look, walking to the edge of a bridge didn't necessarily help him move forward in his life. But he experienced that same kind of fear by approaching people. That gave him that same feeling of fear of heights. Don't ask me why, the unconscious brain is always a bit vague for people.
So you can experience problems at different levels and experience that as a blockage. And if you solve it at one, then it's also solved at the other. That's really genius. But he also had to show the behavior to commit himself to 'hey, but I'm the new Tom. I've changed my identity.
I'm a new being. Essentially it's a new being. So Tom also had to show the behavior. So yes, we also had to work on okay, what behavior are you going to show now? What are you going to do now to achieve where you want to get?
And of course that was part of my coaching, but only from the moment I really grabbed that and took it seriously and pushed people to it and made agreements. And acted as an accountability partner for those people for that certain behavior. Yes, then you suddenly have layer 4. Yes and layer 5, so layer 4 is behavior. Layer 5 is almost too silly for words how I discovered it.
But I had a man in my chair, let's call him Lars. And Lars came to me because he suffered from an alcohol addiction. And he was just done with it. He said yes I just don't want to drink anymore and I just keep doing it all the time. I feel bad.
Not only physically bad but also mentally bad because 1, he couldn't get himself away from it and 2, because he did it. Logical of course. And I worked with him and I tested everything and I was sure okay his unconscious is okay, his emotions are tested. I also said hey what voices go with that? Adjusted his behavior?
What are we going to do? Built in accountability. So 2 days later he sent me a message and he says yes I drank alcohol again. I think how is that possible? I had him come by immediately and I said tell me how did this happen?
He says yes I was convinced and I left here. Well he was sitting here in another room at this location and he walks outside here. I had told him go walk for half an hour. The weather was nice, walk for half an hour to let everything integrate. He had time for it, he had space for it.
And he did that. He says yes, then I came home and then I saw that whole wall, that whole cabinet full of drinks standing there. And yes, that just kept calling louder. So yes, in the evening at 10 o'clock, I was tired. Then I just opened that drink again.
I think yes, pancake, Paul. Of course when someone suffers from an alcohol addiction and they go home and they sit behind their TV or watching their TV and behind them stands a whole cabinet full of drinks. Of course you can't stay away from that. He hadn't adjusted his environment yet. And that's also a very important thing.
When you work on all layers of identity and you keep moving in an old environment, yes then that eventually ensures that you start showing that behavior again that you labeled as old. Very simple, I used to be a DJ and I had all these friends who drank. I joined in and from the moment I stopped as DJ and producer. I also stopped my own record label, no longer managing artists. Just completely out of the world.
Those people still stayed in it. So when I ran into them once on a Friday afternoon and they said: 'Hey Paul for old times' sake come by sometime and have a drink with us. Then I would sometimes say in the beginning well okay then I'll come. And then it was Friday afternoon and one drink became another drink and some greasy food and another drink. And yes I had already eaten so I might as well stay and then we went into the city in the evening and before I knew it it was 2 o'clock in the morning again and I had drunk 10 beers again.
Yes that's logical because I just came back into contact in the environment with people who think it's normal to drink alcohol, to eat greasy food, to go out, drink more there. When you go out you don't drink water, you drink beer or whatever. And especially the shots were of course killing. Yes that doesn't work at all. You obviously have to adjust that on all those layers.
So I wonder anyway do you have an idea on which of the 5 layers it's blocking? Is it your core beliefs? Is it your emotions? Is it the stories you tell yourself? Is it the behavior you show?
Is that not yet fitting with the growth you want to achieve? Or is your environment not right? And each of those layers you have to bring in line with the person you want to be in 2 years. Because at the core you already are that, because otherwise you wouldn't be listening to this video. So at the core you are already the person you want to be in 2 years.
And by bringing your behavior, your environment, the stories you tell yourself, your emotions and your core beliefs all in line with who you are at the core, then you're not that in 2 years, then you're that today. Then everything suddenly clicks together. So the question is on which layer is your blockage? Probably if you take one that's the biggest and you work on it, then you'll discover that the rest of the layers probably are also missing something. But please don't fall into the trap of working on 1 of those layers.
That there isn't a coach who says yes listen, but you become the average of the 5 people you surround yourself with. Yes, that's true. But when you deep down don't believe with your core beliefs that you belong and fit in that environment, then you're going to sabotage yourself or sabotage the environment so that environment is going to reject you. That's definitely going to happen. Same when you start showing behavior that hasn't been reprogrammed in your unconscious.
It's not synchronized. I work with identity syncing so that it's synchronized on every layer. I do that through Identity Work. When you don't do that, then you're going to show different behavior. But those stories in your head are going to tell you once.
Say you're going to train hard for 6 weeks in a row. Going to tell you every weekend yes but you've earned just eating that bag of chips once. You exercised hard today and you feel in your system that you're tired. You just need chips or fries or whatever. Those stories are going to come up then.
Or you're going to try to rewrite those stories in your head, affirm like crazy, but you don't adjust your behavior and your environment, nothing happens either. You have to adjust every layer. So yes, affirmations work 100 percent if you just do the other 4 layers too. Adjusting your behavior works 100 percent if you just adjust the other 4 layers too. Being in the right environment 100 percent if you just adjust the other 4 layers too.
So to you the question: which layer is the blockage? And can you make sure that the person you want to be in 2 years, that you're already doing the right thing on every layer now? Your growth has been further ignited. Ready to take full ownership? Then check the link in the show notes.
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This transcript has been translated from Dutch.
